a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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