yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
