i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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