I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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