what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
