It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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