my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
