The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
