If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
