where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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