I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
