so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
