Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
