FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Randomize
