You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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