I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
