I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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