I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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