Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
