I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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