Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
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