Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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