thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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