Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
