I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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