this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
