Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
