My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
