My friends, they love my intelligence
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
