this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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