So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
