i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
