if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
