I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
