i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The Olympian is in my bed
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
