yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
