It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
