Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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