Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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