We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
