was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize