im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
