I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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