i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
