Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
