i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
