So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
id be glad to
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
