she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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