I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
