super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
