she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
