I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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