You really coming over, don't trick.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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