your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I didn't shave. On purpose
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
