Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
