Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Green mimosas i think yes
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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