have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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