It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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