i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
