Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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