You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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