Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
