I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
