Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize