I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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