dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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