Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
