How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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