Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
