Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
